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1. |
Under the Sun
01:39
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branches feeling for the clouds
in the slowest motion
roots reach back
into the grave
I’ve been basing every lie
on the one before it
feeding tigers
in a cage
if you could be the only one
anybody could be
if jet fuel
ever could melt steel
I would ease your worried mind
like some golden apple
& I would tell you
how to feel
I would tell you how to feel
a flower turns to greet the sun
in a holy moment
far too easy
to be real.
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2. |
Too Soon
05:25
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there are just so many things
I thought that I
would be better at
by now
like parking my car
in a parallel space
like cooking a meal
that is not scrambled eggs
like tying my tie
or like asking for help
like speaking my mind
or standing up for myself
there are just so many things
I thought that I
would be better at
by now
do you rent or do you own?
are you wearing a ring?
aren’t you getting too old
to keep dreaming those dreams?
do you think you’ll have kids?
will you start your career?
do you live for yourself
or do you just live in fear?
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3. |
Song for Akira Yoshizawa
04:06
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paper & pens
& pink b12 vitamins
morning routines
with non-dairy creams
I fold an airplane
to fly me away from here
when you busy your hands
your soul is serene
she said, “don’t be drastic,
your life’s not so tragic
there’s just a way things
are supposed to be”
so I look for magic
in moonflower plastic
about as close now
as I can see
in your defense
I’ve been moody and miserable
all of the time
all of the time
but it’s a disease
these gray clouds following me
dripping in my eyes
& fogging my skies
I spent today just
collecting papers
wrinkled receipts
& yesterday’s news
while Akira Yoshizawa
was folding
all he sees
from upon the moon
42 folds to
reach the moon
it takes
42 folds to
reach the moon
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4. |
Forecast
02:09
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5. |
Rainy Day
04:31
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it’s just a rainy day
there’s no reason
we should be upset
thought i’d heat some tea water
& we’d watch
the television set
I was thinking Hoop Dreams
it’s my favorite
when I am sick
but it’s a little slow in parts
& anyway it’s your turn to pick
being in love is easy
when it is cold & raining
& there is
nothing leaking in
it’s just a sunny day
I thought that I
would take a walk outside
& put some music
in my ears
so everything’s a little brighter
all my friends are so talented
I like most of the things
they write
sometimes it makes me jealous
but I’m proud
& I don’t think they’d mind
but it still stings to see someone
you know appearing in Stereogum
while you are sitting in Monday traffic
wishing that you had called into work sick
is that toxic?
well?
oh well
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6. |
Broken String
04:29
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broken string, broken string
you’re no good for anything
I miss the way you were,
my broken string
fix my brain, my soul
my broken string
broke my string, broke my heart
cannot play on my guitar
I miss your lonesome drone,
my broken string
fix my prose, my poem
my broken string
26, 27
all my hair
has gone to heaven
my hair
has gone off
to heaven
28, 29
I’ll shave my head
to save my pride
but the mirror shows me what
my future holds
that my head’s
an empty beach
& the tide is low
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7. |
Drive
04:03
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I only drive when I have to
I’d rather walk if I can
it helps me appreciate things I pass by normally
it’s nice to slow down now & then
besides,
what if I crash?
I only speak when I’m spoken to
I keep it in when I can
sometimes it’s hard, I’m concerned for my heart
when I swallow all that it can stand
because
what if it can’t?
I can’t stand the thought of aging
but I’m afraid of dying young
I only drive when I have to
I’d rather walk if I can
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8. |
Too Late
01:36
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I can swallow my pride
I can choke on my shame
or I can pull up someone’s
Wikipedia page
just to see where they were at
when they were my age
& it can make me feel good
or like it’s already too late
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9. |
Thirty
06:37
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when you are 30, I’ll be 29
but statistically,
that means I'm still the first to die
I was born with a different chromosome
& so you may have to spend
at least a few years alone
& if I’m young & there’s time
& there’s someone new
I hope he’s dumb but he’s nice
& he cooks for you
& his love has no end
& his art is shit if it exists
when I am 30, you’ll be 31
& I’ll spend my days & nights
searching your body for lumps
because cancer is a crab & anxiety’s a bitch
& your job provides insurance
but neither of us is rich
I’m a louse on a dog on a foggy day
& the rain comes
& it washes me away
to the mud
to the mud
to the dirty ditch
today is the oldest that
I have ever been
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Andhi O'Neill Peekskill, New York
Andhi O'Neill is a songwriter and producer from New York State
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